Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
About Literature / Hobbyist Premium Member Michael V. Moen22/Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
11 Month Premium Membership
Statistics 64 Deviations 7,736 Comments 47,195 Pageviews

It's been a year.

Sun Sep 14, 2014, 4:27 PM
One year ago yesterday, was the last time I've seen Kristina face to face. One entire year since the day I saw her off at the Airport, staying till the last possible second at security and then running to the next security hallway that I knew she'd have to pass by on her way to the terminal just so I could get one more moment of eye contact. We waved, we smiled, we saved face. I didn't even think to imagine that would be the last time I'd ever see her again. And then my life would spiral into Hell the following months.

One year later. I'm not emotionally unstable anymore. I won't break down in sobs. None of what happened makes me do that anymore. Now it's just a regretful blight on my life. I still go to sleep at night, and wake up wishing, even begging for it all to be back. My little moments of weakness when I rest my head on my pillow, the hoodie she gave me years ago still laying in it's place on the corner of my bed like it always has. Just one more little reminder in a world without her. I know I could just get rid of it. I know I could remove everything that has to do with her, just like everyone says to. But it's pointless. Six years of the most important part of my life? The girl is everywhere to me, and when I close my eyes it's her I see. So I don't even bother to pretend she doesn't exist anymore. I have her drawings of us framed on my wall. A little sketch of the two of us she made in a 5 year anniversary card she sent me. Her small clay sculpture of a Golden Retriever named Tristan that she created back in Highschool. It's still almost unbelievable she'll be 24 next year.

And my biggest regret to date? One I feel may never be trumped later down the road no matter what I do or don't do. I could still be with her, right now. If I had just done things differently. If I had just been a better man when she needed me to be. If I had just...calmed myself down during our fights, and showed her I wanted to fix us. I wouldn't have lost the love of my life. I wouldn't have lost my job. I'd have had a full year's worth of paychecks and Hell, I may have even followed through with my plan of being transferred to a Lowe's in Scottsdale. But that's not the route fate took. She always told me, things happen for a reason. If that's true then, fate wanted her gone. Fate wanted me alone, and beaten. Fate wanted me to go to a Psychologist. Fate wanted me to sit here, for God knows how long, alone because I know I'll never love again. I may be able to like other girls. I may be able to flirt, and banter, possibly even kiss and lust after them. But Love only makes me look back at one person. And that's why I know my future has already been decided. I'm not ignorant.


I had an interview at my old workplace. I'm hoping I can finally get back to doing what I was before all of this happened. I'm waiting for their decision.

deviantID

ScotchNvl's Profile Picture
ScotchNvl
Michael V. Moen
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Alias: Scotch Novel

Discover my Celeste Science Fiction Novel on Fictionpress.

If you need anything, go ahead and send me a Note and I'll get back to you when I do.
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconnightwolf37:
nightwolf37 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Reply
:iconaang10:
Aang10 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
why did you delete your kataang fanfic?
Reply
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh those. I went through some things that made me make rash decisions for this account, until eventually I decided I wanted to make a fresh start with my gallery.
Reply
:iconaang10:
Aang10 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ah I see.
Reply
:iconbodymindandspirit:
bodymindandspirit Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
thanks for the fav!!!!!!! click here to see more bodymindandspirit.deviantart.c…
:iconlachoirplz: :iconpervydannyfenton-plz: :iconsokkaplz:  :iconpewdiestyleplz:  :iconicecreamchairplz::iconpinklilyplz: :iconjackfrostrotg: :iconbummy1::iconbummy2::iconbummy3::iconoppagangnamstyleplz: :iconsokkaplz: :iconjelloplz: :icongurked: :iconhappyprincesslunaplz:  :iconspazhugplz:  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  :iconrose-plz: :icongiggle-plz::iconbwavoplz: :iconlokismileplz:      :iconrainbow-dashplz: :iconmarshalleeplz:     :iconfluttershylaplz: :iconfeelingfreeplz:    :iconsokkawatertribeplz: Flynn: ... hi! :icongreenfavplz:   :iconbirdisthewordplz:  Clapping Pony Icon - Princess Luna :icondragonhugplz: :icondancingpenguinplz:  :iconpatpatplz:    Here I Stand 
Reply
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No problem it was a really nice drawing. :)
Reply
:iconzidanemina:
ZidaneMina Featured By Owner May 4, 2014
Again, thanks for your support man!. If you need anything DO LET ME KNOW :)
Reply
:iconzidanemina:
ZidaneMina Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014
Yo man, thanks for the fav!. And for the comment at the flame fire hot comunist pony of mine!
Reply
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No problem, was happy to.
Reply
:icontherockinstallion:
TheRockinStallion Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey, man! This is Rockout (thought currently stuck as Rockette) from EqF! I'm diggin' your gallery!
Reply
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, nice to hear from you here. I'm glad you like it, I'll make sure to look yours over as well.
Reply
:icontherockinstallion:
TheRockinStallion Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanx 4 returning the watch!
Reply
:icontessa-g:
Tessa-G Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
How old r u... ok personal question.. just wondering. U dont have 2 reply ^^
Reply
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Me personally? It's on my dA profile next to my username so I guess you mean my character?
Reply
:icontessa-g:
Tessa-G Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
really? well how old's ur character, then?
Reply
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I haven't really decided on an exact age. I label him as a Stallion, so at least young adult because of that and since he works as a Guard.
Reply
(1 Reply)
Hidden by Owner
Hidden by Commenter
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
happy 43,000 view milestone to me.
Reply
:iconcalates:
Calates Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav
Reply
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
happy 42,000 pageview milestone to me.
Reply
:iconshockwave9001:
Shockwave9001 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch! 
Glad you're interested in my work!
Reply
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. Looking forward to any Semi-automatic rifles you make in the future.
Reply
:iconshockwave9001:
Shockwave9001 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Only the semi-autos? ;-)
Reply
:iconscotchnvl:
ScotchNvl Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
They're a personal favorite though I've been really enjoying your Assault Rifles and those Bullpup carbines.
Reply
(1 Reply)
Add a Comment: