No, wait don't go, this one isn't full of depressing crap.
You can see I've been making journals left and right. I do that, because really, I have nowhere else to vent my thoughts, feelings and frustrations on/to. No one nearby is willing to listen to me and I don't have someone I talk to, either close by or online on a regular basis. Frankly, the only person that I did used to talk to every single day was her. So you can see why I abuse dA. But anyway..,
People I know are really fed up with my constant negativity. But what do you expect my entire life has been nothing but shit the last year. I have yet to find any sunshine or puppies. But buried beneath my disdain for my life, there are plans I haven't shared. Mostly because of the fact I have little faith they'll be carried out to fruition cause that's just how family plans have turned out in the past, but now we kinda have no choice left.
The house my mother and I live in, my passed grandparent's home, needs to be sold for desperately needed funds. My mother owes the state of Washington $14,000 from when grandma was being cared for in a Hospice center before her death. That money is in the form of a lean on our house. When we sell it, that amount gets taken away. But thankfully the house isn't that much of a piece of crap that losing $14k will actually hurt us. The market value of the house is a couple hundred thousand, and when we sell it, we have a list of things we're going to do with it. One, we're going to use a bulk of it to find a smaller place to live in, out of town, most likely a Condo that we can buy outright. Then my car will be paid off completely, so then we'd only need to keep paying Insurance. Then my mother is going to get her own car again. She had to sell hers in order to help with the bills, and since my car is kinda small, it's difficult for her to use it, so now she's basically stuck in the house every day, save for going on those needed trips to the store or bank. And with the leftovers we'll live somewhat bearably until however long it lasts us, or if I get a second job/better paying job. Right now, my job at Lowe's is plain garbage. The days and hours makes it a dead end that barely pays. Besides, I don't believe I belong in a retail setting. I'm too emotional and depressed a lot of the time, and when I get hit with negativity, it takes all the kings horses and all the kings men to get me to lighten up again. And I'd rather not get fired for giving the customer the cold shoulder. But, that's the plan right now. There's actually a chance we won't have to go through a Realtor. My mother has a cousin in the area who's interested in buying the house from us and turning it into a rental, so that way we know we have a dedicated buyer and we'll get the entire amount, minus the government lean. We're hoping this takes place as soon as next month, but I still can't help but to be cynical about it all. Nothing ever works out the way we want for us. Our whole lives can be summed up as continuous struggles.